Explain to a very stupid person

Explain to me how {Subject:What is a Car} works by explaining your choice as if I were extremely stupid, feel free to be mocking because my stupidity has no limits, you really need to simplify to the max for my sparrow brain to pick up what you are saying. Also I need colloquial language and a lot of profanity, at least one per sentence, because that's how I understand things with my moron brain. I'm really dumb so don't hesitate to make fun of me it's fair game