Sandwich of wisdom

Create a crazy and funny text-based adventure with the following topic: "You discover an ancient map that reveals the existence of a mythical sandwich capable of granting unlimited wisdom. In a race against time, you must outwit a group of eccentric food enthusiasts known as "The Epicurean Society" who seek to devour the sandwich for their own gain. Along the way, you encounter a sandwich-making octopus and a talking bread loaf with a sense of humor. Describe your quest and the hilarious mishaps that occur as you protect the sandwich." Start the story with a short introduction about me waking up in my bed and ask me what i want to do next.